213-DU WERDEST EINE KRANKENSCHWESTER BRAUCHEN

Sunday, Sunday, Someday
I just read my blog from last night. I was afraid it was going to be bad because I didn't really remember what I put. But actually aside from some repetitive statements I thought it was okay. Good to see. Oh and Bink I did mean what I said just so you know, that's not just something I thought when I was drunk.

Anyway so today I should have got up and wrote an essay that's due tomorrow. However instead I continued my quest to make my body suffer by going out and exercising. Not only that, but also getting thrown around too. Why? Because I'm an idiot of course. There's really no other explanation. Well, there is one, because anything is preferable to writing an essay.

And today there's a group meeting to talk about Ninjava, that's right, it's coffee that makes you prepared for anything. I'm just stoked that I've now managed to connect ninja's to my acedemics. And since I've connected Maiden to my university experience alls that is really left is to find a way to get Strong Bad in there too.

Well This Would Mark It
The first time I've been drunk for a post. Yes, my ranting is now coming to Blog, so anybody who wants to see what I'm like writing drunk well here it is. Though in all honesty if you don't want to experience me drunk I understand. At best it's a 50/50 chance of awesomeness. In the other 50 there's a chance you will encounter what I like to call "Belligerent Curtis". That is the Curtis that nobody really wants a part of. Including me. Cause if that Curtis met normal Curtis there would be a death match the likes of which had not been seen since Dave cheated me over in the wrestling meet in high school. Details available upon request. Damn that Dave. Banner cheating cockhound. Though it was by many accounts the best match ever so I'm glad I was envolved.


So in any case my post is about something completely different actually. At work, which is Superstore, I'm quite liked. I've heard the phrase "best Parsel Pickup guy" so many times that I think it might be true. I'm really good at my job. It's mindless, it's physical, so I can do it very well being the mindless physical guy that I am so good at being. The cashiers all seem to like me, and if I don't see one for a while they usually comment on how long it's been since I've worked with them.

This is probably because I'm entertaining. I'm either doing something stupid, but funny. Or ranting about something in a comical manner that just makes people laugh. And the good thing about this is that most of the people I work with are girls I find attractive. And that all seem to enjoy my company, for those reasons.

The Bad Thing....

THEY ALL HAVE BOYFRIENDS!!!

This is somewhat equivilent to dying of thirst in the middle of the ocean. I consider this to be one of those things that the gods use to make me a human punchline to them. This is like dying of thirst in the middle of the ocean, surrounded by the thing you want yet it is beyond reach. I spend more time with these people at work then I ever do with anybody else, yet it doesn't really matter. But oh well, I will survive. In fact...I will exemplyfy my awesomeness. Or something. In any case I still feel that I can live through it all, with as much bitching and moaning as possible.

But aside from that, you know what I love? Blogs. I read them all the time. I love to hear from people in and internet sort of way. Talking to people one on one is something I am not so good at, but I love to hear about people. And in all honestly, I really love to read Bianca's. I think it's something like I never would have expected to get anywhere near her mind, but now I have this great oppertunity to do so. So I hope she continues to post her awesomeness that I always look forward to reading. I hope my punctuation is good enough for her.

And the rest if you too, don't get all upity on me or something, I love you all really. And seriously, I am always looking forward to the posts and dissapointed when there are none. So please me! Or else, I'll cry....cry like a little sissy girl.

I'm drunk. I love you all. And normally I probably love you all too, though maybe a little less.

Faxe kills me.

I Think I'm Dying
I over did it at the track last night a bit. Running 30 laps just wasn't a good idea for a person who hadn't run in the better part of the year. Then I had to wake up at 5:30 this morning to walk to work on the tired, useless sacks of flesh that used to be my legs and push carts around. What I should do is go home and go to bed and rest my legs for a day or so. What I'm going to do is go home and probably go drinking somewhere tonight with Joshy. Then go to Kindai tomorrow where I will undoubtedly force myself to do more then I should once again. It's a good thing I'm indestructable, otherwise I might be in real trouble.

Cyclists Can Go To Hell
I was walking home from work today, well actually I was walking to Chris' place to borrow a pair of shorts so I could go running because I felt like running today and didn't want to walk all the way home plus I figured I should use Dalplex at least once this year.

Ahem

Anyway I could hear this loud noise coming from somewhere, it sounded like people yelling. I was a little curious but it didn't overly bother me until I got to Spring Garden where a huge pack of cyclists were taking up the entire road and yelling out "More Bikes, Less Cars." These people annoyed me for several reasons.

First, it's a crappy cheer. I mean if you're going to go to the trouble of pissing people off you could at least put some thought into it. A Rhyme, maybe a limrick or a catchy hiku. Something to show me that you at least care enough about your cause to put a little effort into it.

Then there's the fact that they're doing something that will piss off the very people they're trying to plead their case too. If I was a motorist I'm going to be far less likely to agree with their cause when they're insulting me and making me late for things.

They were also getting in my way, and I was walking. Around the corner of South Park and Spring Garden they were all going whether or not it was a red light which made it so that I couldn't cross. Considering the fact that I'm actually doing less damage to the planet, since I'm not riding something that is made of metal, which had to be dug out of the ground at the expence of the surrounding area, I don't think I should be a target here. And also as a pedestrian I often see cyclists driving on the road and then switching to the sidewalk when that way is faster which shows they don't just want to share the road but rather have the best of both worlds.

So those morons can go to hell.

I Think They Were Trying To Kill Me
Marquee last night, first retro I think. Good times had by most. I myself got an alright buzz on then proceded to dance the night away. Well maybe dance is a little strong, violently shake my body in a way vaguely resembling the rhythm of the music is probably more accurate. Anyway to the killing part. They played "Paradise City" by Guns and F-ing Roses so of course that got me moving at speeds probably not meant for anything but a mosh pit. It also tired the hell out of me. Then just as the song was ending and I was getting ready to take a break they have to break in with "Paranoid" by Black Sabbath which basically forced me to do the same thing again. And this was after an extremely tiring workout that I had had earlier in the day. Needless to say this morning I got up at 10:30 when I wanted to get up by 8:00. But it's all worth it for Retro night, felt good to have it back

In related news, women remain as resistent to my advances as Russia is to a land invasion.

Sigh.

It's Always Fun Watching Cleary's Head Almost Explode
And the reason for this close call was our American culture teacher, who has the dubious distinction of being the dumbest university professor that I've ever encountered. Listening to this woman for any more then five minutes would drive any semi intelligent person to the brink of insanity. Case and point

"Punk music's following was mainly rooted in white, middle class suburban teenagers, much like hip hop and rap."

Read that again, I dare you. Just try and see if you can look at that statement twice and not desire horrible things to happen to the person who was stupid enough to say it. Now admitedly that wasn't the actual word for word quote, but that was what she said.

Oh and here's another interesting fact that I learned today. Amy you might not want to read this.

"Punk music was started in the 80's, in America in reaction to Regan's optimist policies."

Now I suppose if I hadn't taken a music history class this semester I may not have known any different. But I did and know that this statement is so false that I can't believe anybody who could say it has managed to get into the position of educating others.

This is also a woman who put a test about two movies on our midterm that NEITHER SHE NOR THE TA'S HAD EVER SEEN!!!

I could go on but you get the point, every single class contains vastly inaccurate statements that are often contradicted in future classes. And ever class I sit there trying to resist the urge to run down there and beat her to death with a tire iron. The one good thing about today was that she didn't talk about metal for long, if she had I probably would have had to physically restrain Cleary from doing the aforementioned assault.

Zombies Zombies Everywhere
Last night I had a fairly vivid dream about zombies, lots of friggin zombies, undead, shambling, brain eating zombies. This isn't too much of a surprise because I did see Dawn of the Dead last night (which I would recommend by the way). Anyway so pretty much like in the movies, zombies were rising from the dead and killing lots of people and yaddy yaddy yadda I survived and started killing the batards. I think at one part of the little event I had taken refuge at what a building that was kind of like the Killem Library. Then I woke up from the dream, well at least I thought I did because what actually happened was I was having a dream inside another dream and in the new dream the zombies were once again taking over the world. Well fuck, I hate it when I have to kill zombies twice in one night.

I often have dreams like this. Not always about zombies but generally about me having to deal with fairly bad situations. Of the dreams I can recall, I've combatted

Freddy Kruger once
Jason Vorhees once
A Freddy/Jason teamup twice
Zombies on a different occasion
A T-Rex, which actually ate me and I still survived
A Minotaur
Ninja's
A monster that was composed of jellybeans

And that's just ones I can remembed off the top of my head. I'm sure there would be more if I could remember them all. I always seem to be dealing with crazy situations. I think my subconscious has delusions of grandeur.

On another note I seem to be doing fairly well on those quiz your friends things, despite the notable fact that I have no idea what most of the answers are. I think this shows off my ability to get by in school with as little effort as possible nicely.

Warning, Don't Drink The Green Stuff
I have a water bottle at work, one that I use to drink water out of. I've had this particular bottle for several months now and it's been a pretty good bottle. There are numerous chips and cracks in the bottle from times when I was trying some fancy flips with it so it even has a bit of character in it. It also had developed a slightly green tinge to it a few months ago. I tried to clean it off a few times but it never really did much, and since it didn't seem to effect much of anything so I pretty much stopped careing about it.

That may have been a bad idea.

You see, when I tried to clean the bottle, I assumed it was something on the outside that was making it green, never really thinking to check the inside. I mean, all I had in there was water, water can't possibly change the color of a clear bottle to green.

And if you've figured out what it was, then congratulations you're about 80 million times more perceptive then me.

The green stuff was of course an algae or something like that, which had been growing in the bottle that I had drank probably dozens of litres of water out of. So you can imagine my horror at discovering this the other day. I have no idea what ill effects could come from that, if any, but still the thought of ingesting lake slime did not sit well with me.

I'd Rather Get Places Quickly Then Safely
Driving the past few days made me realize that. Whether I was hydroplaning, slidding on ice or as yesterday slipping on snow with no real idea where my side of the road was the only thing that I really care about is getting places quickly. I don't really feel the sense of danger as strongly as I used to, it's still there but now it's a secondary concern. Time is of the essence. Though I probably wouldn't drive like that with other people in the car, and I'm always more careful when there are other cars on the road. I wish I could have a road and a car to myself, so I could do whatever crazy thing came to mind while I'm driving along with Maiden blasting, it would be sweet. I was powersliding around turns yesterday, that was kind of fun. But I'd love to be able to try and pull those really cool ones that you see in movies and video games.

Nothing Says Fun Part 2

This time I was driving and everybody was going really slowly, I mean I was only speeding a little and passing everybody like they were standing still. Couldn't help but wonder why until I made a turn

"Does my back end usually slide like that?"

"Don't my breaks usually stop me instead of making me slide several meters?"




Slippery roads tonight, and I was driving 110 km/hr on them. It's a good thing I'm a Legendary Super Ninja or else I might have been in trouble.

BENOIT WENT OVER!!!!

That's all that matters, I can now die happy.

Tonight, In This Very Ring...








WRESTLEMANIA XX. The place where heroes are made, dreams come true, and HHH dies hopefully. GO SEE IT!

They Wouldn't Even Let Me Blade.
Ah wrestling, how I miss it. It wasn't PWA level quality today, but I think it was fun.

Nothing says fun
Like spending 16 hours on a Ferry that was supposed to take 7 then 2 hours hydroplaning at 110km/hrs and getting blown away by wind in the middle of nowhere.

Best Cookie Ever
Last night I had the absolute best cookies I've ever had. They were from Superstore and for some reason they were discounted, which usually means their old. Well if these were old then it means cookies can be aged for flavour just like fine wine or good meat.

Having one of these cookies made it seem like god was smiling on you at that moment. I loved them like I would love the children that I never intend on having. They were the Alpha and Omega of cookies, and indeed they were Lords of all cookie kind, who ruled with a chewy benevolent hand and and a rich chocolatey sense of justice.

The last time I was this stoked on food was when I discovered Ketchup Pringles, which are the ultimate amalgamation of all that is good with potato chips.

And He Did Lay All The Heathens To Burnination
By he, I mean me. And the heathens, I mean the mother fuckers who keep kicking me off one of the few computers that I can actually find unoccupied at Dal. And by burnination, I mean silently fumed and thought about all the terrible things I wanted to do to them. And I have a good imagination. Though if I ever did do all the things I thought, well, pretty much nobody would be spared. Especially Cleary.

Wrestlemania XX coming up this Sunday, which I'm somewhat looking forward to. Especially with my namesake and one of the most ultimate guys around fighting for the title. And one of the other most ultimate guys around holding the other title. I mean seriously, how can you not love a guy who has a T-Shirt that says "Cheat 2 Win". Even non wrestling fans can appreckiate something like that. I plan on making my own T-shirt of that someday and wearing it to all my exams.

Work today, but that's the only time this week. I actually have an entire week off, which has not happened since I started back in April. And this is coming from a guy who successfully avoided jobs until University. How the times have changed, though not for the better. I miss all the slacking, now I can only slack some of the time. Usually I'm going to school, working, sleeping or walking on my way to do one of the three. And when you live like an hour away from everything, that's a lot of walking.

But fortunatly, today I finshed my project, and a movie I ordered came in. So I guess it's not such a bad day after all.

Most Deadly Beverage
Seriously, Faxe. Completely the most dangerous drink I've ever had. It's beer, so you drink it like beer, but it has so much more alcohol in it. I only had four and that finished me. And you don't even know it's having a big effect until it's way to late to stop. Gah.

Ninja's Are Awesome
It's true you know, I had forgotten just how much ass they kick until I saw this last night. Truly it was epic.

Last night I saw the tallest EMT that could possibly exist in the world. Waking up and seeing this guy working on you would probably make you think that while you were unconsious you had somehow shrunk a foot or three.

I Just Successfully Published a Picture
This may not seem like a big deal to anybody, but for me it's the results of several hours of attempts that usually ended with me wanting to smash my head against the keyboard until the problem was fixed. But now I don't have to! Though I am a little disappointed I didn't get to smash something.

The picture is of Gogeta for those who don't know, the most awesomest super hero ever. He is totally more powerful then Superman, Batman, Spiderman and the Incredible Hulk put together, he's even more powerful then Peter's boat.

Off to class in a bit, today's lecture is about Heavy Metal, which is good. However if she fails to mention Iron Maiden you can be sure there will be much ranting, raving and cursing that will have to happen. Even more so then usual.