213-DU WERDEST EINE KRANKENSCHWESTER BRAUCHEN

Always Counter Clockwise

Well today was fun, and by fun I mean whatever the opposite of fun is. Un fun? Funless? Less then fun? Shark fin?

Anyway, spent the morning writing what had to be the worst paper I've done in quite a while. Passed that in, went to school, went to work and I think by now we all know my feelings about that hellish place. Someday I'll put up a sign saying "Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter" on the staff room. Then had to walk a detour to walk a girl home, which made me late for Hockey so I had to run from Preston street to Dal arena, only to get there to lose 6-1.

Actually, it really wasn't such a bad day. I'm done my papers, hockey was fun and everything else wasn't so bad. But I just need to complain.

Actually, comparatively I seem to be doing alright. The fact that many people I know are having rough times is having the adverse effect of making me try to be more positive, to try and balance things out. I figure less negitivity from me can pretty much balance out anything.

Oh and the Tyranical madman is coming here, and I think I might actually go down and protest! I've never done that before, I mean what do I wear, what kind of non lethal but highly funny ammo could I hit him with? Hopefully I can cross the line and get police butalitied, or even secret serviced. That would be awesome.

I'll Become A Cop, And With Time....A Dirty Cop

Well I'm doing horrible on my paper, and you know what that means. Beer done, waiting for the ice to melt in the ameretto, hopefully this will lead to something spectacular. Or at least a few friggin pages.

Well here's a moment I'm not proud of. A few minutes ago I was laying in bed trying to figure out what was different about my room that was keeping me awake.

.

..

...

Oh right, I didn't turn out the lights.

If It Requires A Uniform It's A Worthless Endeavor

Well, I'm pretty much down to one essay. My second last stands at 9 pages of the ten need, and no conclusion has been done yet. So I'm sitting pretty, pretty ugly! Ahahahaahahha



Anyway, a long time ago I noticed an odd fact about life. It seems that when I am in a good, happy mood then many people around me will be sad or going through unpleasant times. And when I'm in a bad mood, it seems to be the other way around. Now this is not an all consuming rule or anything, and doesn't apply to everybody by any means but it's happened enough that it drew my attention.

So for the moment, lets say it's true. Well if that's the case I'm actually causing misery to people, which would make me unhappy, which would then make people happy, which would make me happier, which would...ect ect. It would be an odd paradox.

Of course, I could always learn how to derrive happiness from other peoples misery. I mean I already do to a point, why not just go all the way? I'd be happier for it. And then the happier I was, the more everybody else would wish they were dead, and eventually I'd get so happy that my skull would literally burst out my mouth from smiling too much.

So screw you all, I'm looking out for numero uno now.

And you know what's a great way to start feeling happy? I now have a drawer full of weapons. You should see it, seriously. Any person who didn't know me would think I'm a deranged killer. And those who do know me, well you already would know that I suppose.

I Would Kill For You...Please Ask Me To Kill For You.

Checklist:

2 Katana, Check

1 Bo, Check

2 Sets Nunchku, Check

2 Sai, Check

Sheriken, Check


If you don't know what that means, then I hate you.

Assistence Required

I need all of your o
pinions on a matter of utmost important

The Problem: Andrew says I owe him beer and I say it was already settled.

The Facts: I drank a few of Andrew's beers one night. I proceded to buy him the amount I drank on a night when he promised to stay up and drink. However, instead of staying up and drinking, he went to bed before I even got home. This was despite the fact that all of our roomates had said the night before we'd all stay up drinking, which would have been the first time in a while that we did. So I drank the replacment beers, claiming that because he went to bed, when we were all supposed to drink, made the contract void. His defence is that Jaime was the reason in making him go to bed.

I require your opinions. Do I owe him beer or did his failure to live up to a bargain, when I tried to replace it, void the bargain? Everybody leave a comment, as you will determine whether or not he gets his beer.

Send In the Robotic Richard Simmons

Headaches and apathy make for a poor combination to write a paper. I think I'll go to sleep, and maybe when I wake up my papers will be done, I'll have a hot girlfriend and be the most deadly ninja in the entire universe. Though I would settle for the papers to be done.

Nothing like an entire bottle of Jack's to make you feel like you want to die. Except maybe 2 bottles I suppose

But Do You Got Jive?

So not only can I kill evil, but I can kill good. Both in excess present a problem.

And so I sit in the middle, with no real reward aside from knowing I preserveded what should have happened.

Much like usual. Only more so, and with less hookers, and more death. And retarded amounts of queersness.

Didn't get my essays done tonight, try so tomorrow. Wish me luck, or death, probably death.

You And Your Drugs

Well god pulled out his "Fuck Curtis" gun once again. Someday I'll make the bastard pay.

Rain (Or Snow) Will Fall

Today I slept until about 3:30, though I think I needed it because through the next week I don't think I'm going to be getting much sleep done at all. What with 3 essays due, only one of which is mainly done.

Had an absolutley terrible week of death and punishment, I'd better be getting one of rediculous awesomeness soon or else....

Though last night was fun, nothing like getting two girls a little drunk off Jacks, which is something they both hated the taste of, I think. I'm such a bad influence.

And now I go to do the thing I hate more then anything else in the world. And no, I don't mean to see Cleary. It's the other thing.

Random song: Lightning Strikes Twice

I feel the breeze on my face in expectance
Not very long before the storm reaches here
Off in the distance the lightning is flashing again
Feel something strong as the power draws near
Is it the rolling thunder that scares you
Is it the crashing of clouds that hold fear
But all I know as I sit in a corner alone
It takes me back to my childhood again
And as I wait and look for an answer
To all the things going round in my head
I ask myself could it be a disasterand when
it's maybe threatening to happen again
As the ominous light draws near
Ther's a lone dog howls in the park
All the people hurry inside
As the lightning flash lights dark
The storm is nearly here
Only god will know
You're sitting alone you watch
As the wind is blowing treetops
And the swaying rusting of leaves
Plenty all time to perceive
As you wait for rain to fall
Only god knows
The whole sky glows
Maybe lightning strikes twice
Maybe lightning strikes Twice

Small Bus To Stupidtown

I've used that 3 times tonight, but it's that worth it. Ask me if you don't get it. It's worth it. Must like this,

http://www.penny-arcade.com/view.php3?date=2004-10-15&res=l

Anyway, so being bored and drunk and desireing to drink more, I commented on every
Blog linked to mine that I can. So you can all enjoy personalized drunken quotes from everybodies favourite moron!

And if you hate yours, well read the last of my Blogs, you can't kill me any worse then I wish I was dead. Do your best!

You see, there are three types of people. Dicks, pussies and assholes. Pussies think everyone can get along. And Dicks just wanna fuck all the time without thinkin it through. Then you got your assholes, chuck. All the assholes want is to shit all over everything! So sometimes pussies get mad at dicks once and a while, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes, chuck, and if they didn't, you know what you'd get? You'd get your dick and your pussy all covered in shit!

I swear I'm the gods bowling pin, being set up nicely for the sole purpose of being knocked down. Maybe I need to pray more, or hate less. But all the things they do to me just make me hate more, how can I be expected to hate less.

So you know what is quite possibly the worst thing for a teacher to say to you first thing when you go to talk to her about your history essay. "Have you ever written a history essay before?" Jesus godamn mother fucking Christ today was a series of bad events. I should have known when I woke up and realized I forgot to study for a midterm, and had to skip a class to do it, that takes attendence, and it counts for 20%. I should have stayed in bed and prayed to those bastards for a painless death.

So my roomates all suck. I mean, the plan was to stay up tonight and drink since we have tomorrow off. Josh was aside from me, the last person who lives here to go to bed, and he went at 2:00 or so. And I got home at 12:00. Andrew was in bed before I got home and Jenn around 1:00. So now, instead of having worked on my paper like I should have I'm up alone still drinking. Though there were a few friends of mine here aside from that.

And speaking of them, I sucked a guys nipple to have two hot girls take their shirts off. I think it was probably worth it, they had really nice boobs. And really I just turned my mind off, as only a person who works a mindless job can so really I don't even think I registered it. And if you don't remember, it didn't really happen.

People are so friggin stupid and lazy, most people make me look like an intelligent gogetter, and if you make me look good you're pretty pathetic.

HOW THE HELL DID I MANAGE TO POUR BEER OVER THE GLASS TWICE IN A ROW!!!

You know, I think I'm starting to be the most hatefilled person ever. Sure, you might say something like "Curtis, what about Hitler." Or something like that, but what you'd be forgetting is that he only hated specific people, where as I pretty much hate everybody all the time, regardless of race, gender, nationality ect ect ect. If there's a 100 list of hate filled people, I'm definately there somewhere. Maybe not on the top, but on the board for sure.

And speaking of hate, man, Cleary fucking sucks. I hope Christopher Walkin pranks him for hours, in his basement.

And you know what else I hate? Work, this might be a dead horse that I refuse to stop hitting with a shovel but man that place is about as much fun as getting a kick in the janson every minute or so. Not even the hot girls working there are saving it now, because I've accepted that they all have boyfriends and won't ever dump them unless they can manage to go out with another guy before I can find out there was ever a break up to begin with. Which has happened!

Women suck.

But so do men.

Seriously, anybody who thinks one gender is worse then the other probably takes a small bus to stupid town. They're both retarded in different ways. You might try and defend your gender but I swear I can disolve any argument you might try and make before it ever gets anywhere. Because the underlining problem is that all humans are complete fucking morons.

But especially women.

But especially Bart.

So clearly the only thing worth loving is beer. God damn, beer, who can't love beer? There are too many different kinds to ever say "I don't like beer" because you haven't tried them all. And beer will never let you down, beer won't lead you and then just say it can't be with you. All beer needs is that you spend a little bit of money on it once in a while, and treat it well, like people should anyway. Beer will stay with you until you die, if you let it, and will make a life that would otherwise have been dreary an exciting time. If there's one reason why we shouldn't nuke Britain off the map, it's because they invented beer, I think. So god bless the Queen, the king and any other of those "would be speaking German if it weren't for us" bastards.

You know what else I hate? Women....just checking

I have to write 9 pages of an essay tomorrow.

Or do I just have to throw myself off a bridge? I hear the ones connected Halifax and Dartmouth are popular suicide spots. Naw, if I was going to die I want it to be at least funny, rediculous, or taking as many people with me as possible.

In any case, angry makes me rant, and ranting makes me sleepy. So I hope everybody gets cancer.

Yippie Kiyay Mother Fuckers

In Love With a Wagon Full Of Pancakes

So it's been a little while since I've posted. Two reasons.

1) The main one is that I have slightly less then zero time these days, with my 50 pages of essays due before the end of the month.

2)It seems that other terrible things are happening to people, and since this is essentually a site devoted to bitching about things that effect me, it seemed kind of pointless for me to complain when things could be worse.


In any case, you're all fortunate that tonight while working on, what I have tentivly named the "Essay of death and torture" I reached a case of writers block and after having sat in front of the computer for 2 hours and accomplished nothing, I desided to reach a state of slight inebreation.

Well what can I say, if writing sober doesn't work why not try the opposite?

So in any case, here I sit, somewhat buzzed and still writing the paper, though it is approaching completion.

And now I will procede to say things, that you may read if you wish. Though if you read them in the backwards encoding that I have developed they will spell out the meaning of life among other things.


Right....anyway. Fuck I hate papers, and this is the worst year for them. The one right now is 15 pgs on the relationship between the French Revolution and the Enlightenment. Now maybe some people could write a lot more on the topic, but it would involve quoting a lot of long dead people and saying things that nobody cares about. And writing in the most boring way possible.

Why do scholars always have to write textbooks? They're so dry and out of touch with whats actually interesting. I've had teachers that could make topics fun in the past, so why aren't they writing texts? Enough of these people who write 50 pages on the importance of plankton during the war of 1812 and give me some people that can make history interesting. How hard is it to make the French Revolution interesting? It's a time when literally hundreds of people were executed, regicide was committed, and one of the most powerful countries in the world was completely thrown into chaos and some people can't make that interesting? What the fuck?

And after this paper, I have more to write. On topics I don't care about. Supposedly the point of essays and tests is to evaluate whether or not the student has learned the material. Well I have a better idea, how about these teachers sit down with their students and have a disscussion with them. An imformal debate if you will. Wouldn't that be a better example of what people know? They can forget about all the stupid rules of punctuation that always kill people like me, not have to worry about getting to 10 pages and adding only filler that means nothing for the rest and won't have to cite all these friggin people even though they already have a bibliography that says "Here's where my ideas come from".

Sorry, school occupying my thoughts now. I should talk about other things. Like...um....I...hate...Clearly....and school.

And work, work is the epitome of awfulnisitude. Countless lazy middle age women who always seem incapable of putting their own groceries in the car. If I can walk for 40 minutes to get to work, and then back home, and walk around at work I'm sure these people can manage the arduous task of putting a few bags in their car. I once had to put the just 3 bags in somebodies car, and they weren't old or crippled.

Alright, aside from complaining. I've started playing D and D with some people. That would be Dungeon's and Dragons for those who don't know. It's been a long time since I played it, and it's fun. If you can guess what kind of character I have, I'll give you a cookie. And I'm sure you can if you think about it.

The best part of it all though is one of the girls who plays loves to give people massages, and so far I'm pretty sure she's given me more in the last few weeks then I've got in the last few years. So any of you who I've asked for one before, you're now obsolete. Yeah that's right, I said it. You're more obsolete then a month old computer! Or a 21 year old Clearly. Man I hate that guy.

So the thought of driving a knife into my hand to get out of paper writing is seeming more appealing by the moment.

Or maybe crying. I've always been pretty good at talking my way out of tough situations by just seeming pathetic and such. I think it might be because I seem like a pretty tough guy, so if I'm acting really pathetic and sad people tend to accept the fact that I'm being honest. But what if I actually cried? I think I could get out of pretty much anything, with pretty much anybody. Just imagine it, if you saw me crying, wouldn't you want to do anything to make it stop simply because it's such a foreign concept? Aside from when I was a child, I can count the number of people who have actually seen me cry on one hand, maybe less. Actually, as far as I know, nobody has. So if I did, oh man, I'll bet people would make shit happen to make it stop.

Alright, time to go back to the paper. Not that I want to, but some things just need to be done. Whether you want to do them, or whether you would literally rather swallow glass shards.