213-DU WERDEST EINE KRANKENSCHWESTER BRAUCHEN

Well, lady I must say......you're my kinda stupid

***Your Wrath Quotient: 79%***


Everyone around you pretty much fears your wrath... which is probably what you want.
But just remember, there's a very thin line between fear and hate!

Woman, you are completely off your nut

There's something I've often thought about, and that is, if you had the power to change things in your past that you regretted, would you do so. Now the obvious answer is yes, who among us that aren't a myth or legend can possibly have lived a life without any regret at all. It's more or less impossible. So let's, for argument's sake, say that you could go back in time and alter the parts of life you found less then agreeable. I know I have many myself.

But is it such a good idea? That's the question that has always intrigued me because by going back and changing one thing you may be altering your life in ways that are not conceivable to you and could possibly lead to a worse conclusion then might otherwise have happened. All experiences, both good and bad, help us to become the people we are and it is certainly possible that changing said experiences could cause us to become radically different, perhaps in ways that we would not approve of.

I don't think there is a right answer to this as nobody can possibly imagine what one changed event could lead to, but I have always wondered what the effects would be. Maybe someday I shall invent a machine that allows me to look into these alternate realities. Though more likely I'd likely invent a machine that allowed me to drink more faster.

So tomorrow will be rough because I'm still up and have to get up early. On the plus side a weeks worth of training could probably be learned in about a day and even with my borderline retardation I'm sure I should manage. And if there's ever a real problem I'll just put people on hold until they hang up. God bless third party costumer service. It just says "We don't care and it shows"

I am gonna straight-up murder your ass.

Last week I went snowboarding for the first time in two years and it made me wonder why I had waited two years to make it happen again. Not only did I have a great time, but it was one of the only times lately where I felt young and full of energy instead of old and full of vinegar, among other things. I was there from 11-8 and if not for other people I could have stayed until the hill closed and beyond. A good feeling.

I didn't think I had any respect to lose for Avril Lavigne but then I saw her video for Girlfriend. Way to lower the bar Avril! For those who haven't seen it, it ends with her making out with a guy....in a porta potty. Yes, those plastic things you use as a disgusting substitute for a washroom. Who the hell thought that was a good idea? I'd rather make out in a cemetery, a pulp and paper mill, a refinery, anywhere else. I don't even like going into one of those movable gates to hell to use it for it's actual purpose, let alone any other reason. It could be my only chance to make out with Jessica fucking Simpson and I still wouldn't do it.

Speaking of songs, This is why I'm hot is the personification of what's wrong with the music industry, and the world in general for several reasons.

1)"This is why I'm Hot, I'm hot cuz I'm fly"
This is a perfect example of circular logic, he's trying to use one to prove the other when he hasn't proved that he is indeed fly yet. Being hot and being fly are very similar, so you can't really use one to prove the other. A poorly crafted argument and terrible start already.

2) "You ain't cause you not"
Very similar to the above, plus it's just a poorly worded sentence. Really it should read "You are not because you are not" and when put properly you can see just how stupid it was to begin with.

3)"I dont gotta rap I can sell a mill sayin nothin on da track"
I know that actually having something to say isn't a requirement to be signed by a record label, there's no need to rub it it. Why not just say "Nananananaaaana".

I would continue but quite frankly trying to read the lyrics is giving me a headache. It's the kind of grammatical mess that would make my friend Sean look like William Shakespeare by comparison. And for gods sakes who wants to listen to a song that is making fun of the listeners? Who is that stupid?

And finally, I've recently gone from a 8-12 hour work week to a 52 hour one. After many months of lazing I deserve it, but goddamn I'm amazed my body hasn't gone into shock. Instead of getting up at 1 I get up at 6:30. And instead of doing nothing all day....well alright that hasn't changed but the getting up at 6:30 thing is not enjoyable.

I am Valentinez Alkalinelia Xifax Sicidabohertz Gumbigobillo Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovicci Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser. Don't hesitate to call.

I have completely forgotten how to sleep.

And I'm not joking here.

Lately for some reason I've been unable to find a comfortable sleeping position because everywhere my arms are comfortable seems to put them to sleep and wake me up in a half hours with pins and needles. Sometimes in both arms. Now that's a picnic. How this happened I really can't say for sure, but I had a couple ideas.

1) Somehow my body has changed lately.

2) I've learned enough information that my brain is deleting other information to make room. Though if I had a choice I don't think proper sleeping positions would have gone.

And this has been going on for over a week now and I'm no closer to finding a comfortable way to sleep then I was when it started. Does this sort of thing ever happen to anybody aside from me? Because I don't think anybody else could possibly be this stupid.

On and I recently had to upgrade my blog. Notice all the cool new changes? No? Of course not, because there aren't any! I just had to sign up for a new email account that I didn't need which took like 10 minutes because it kept rejecting me for no apparent reason and all for the exciting changes of absolutely no exciting changes.