213-DU WERDEST EINE KRANKENSCHWESTER BRAUCHEN

If At First You Don't Succeed Then Sky Diving Isn't For You

Well I'd like to consider Josh's birthday good and celebrated. Nothing like getting about 12 hours of sleep over four days, drinking 12 beer then getting 2 and going to do martial arts all day. Never saw I don't do anything for friends.

If stupider people then me exist then the world is in a lot of trouble. You'd think after 22 years, maybe, I think it's 22 years. Though it really might not be as for some reason I seemingly can't keep track of it anymore. Though since I haven't actually changed for like 7 years or so I guess it's no big deal.

Anyway the point is after however the hell I am old I would have learned but oh no, that didn't happen. You'd think just once by accident I would learn something but I don't and so I continue to function on with my preschooler level intellect.

So it's Josh's birthday Friday, if you're nice wish him a happy birthday. I personally told him to kill himself and get hit by a bus.

So it has come to my attention that often enough people think I hate them and have no desire to see or interact with them. This is not quite the truth. I hate pretty much everybody and hope that most people die and in only the most extreme circumstances do I wish anything else upon them. If youre hot and single and FEMALE then thay will probably escape my wrath for a time but even then they will gain it.




There is a passage in the Hagakure which I have not read and am therefore paraphrasing. A Samurai who tries to run through the rain will simply work harder to get as wet. A Samurai who walks with acceptence though will get just as soaked but without all the running around. Though I probably butchered that about as much as a butcher could butcher the whole idea is that you should be willing to accept the things you cannot change and face them with unflintching resolve. I've always liked that idea and because of it I stood outside in the pooring part of the rain today just watching the thunder and lightning. If you choose not to care then you are simply not effected, kind of interesting.

I miss some people, hopefully I'll get to see and talk to them again. Hopefully, but if not there's not much I can ever do.

So tonight Josh and I drank 12 beer each in honour of his birthday. Which he will be away for, the bastard. Now it is now 5:00 AM, I have to get up at 7:00AM and my body is very much tired. Do I regret it? Naw, only by pushing your limits will you ever know what they are.

So in all honesty I think there is probably a benefit to alcohol. I am now made fun of by the people I most generally hang around for the fact that I drink the most among them and am therefore worthy of insults. I agree with this to some point but I think the view of drugs of any sort(including alcohol, which is a drug, and if you're reading this you know who that's directed to) as evil does lack one important point. Only with these things do you really know what you're capable of. Now as somebody who has drank a lot and done more stupid evil things then I would care to remember I know what sort of things dwell inside me and so I can fight them. But people who never experience these things, well should something bad happen they would have no immunity much like a new disease.

So rambling is great.

But as a last thought that is actually something I've thought about in a uninebriated state. What if you could go back and take back all the bad things that you had done. Everything and anything you wanted to. Would you be better off?

In an episode of Star Trek I saw the same idea. But by going back and changing apperent mistakes it completely unrivaled the entire life of that person. So what if that is the case? What if you could go back and turn all your mistake into what you would think they should be, would that really help you? What if everything I've ever done, be it the rediculously stupid or as far as the marginally less stupid leads up to create a person who is actually somebody I want to be? I don't know for sure. Neither does anybody else I suppose.

In conclusion, is anybody still reading this? If so, why? I mean jeeze don't you have something better to do then listen to my half sane mainly retarded ramblings? Come on here, yipes, just yipes.

My Father Was A Simple Man. My Mother Was A Simple Woman. You See The Result Standing In Front Of You, A Simpleton.

Well last night was certainly interesting especially considering I wasn't even planning on going to the party. Firstly a small Asian girl told me I was very handsome and then asked a really hot girlI work with if I could have her number which I'm pretty sure she was going to give me until her friend stopped her, she has a boyfriend.

Then when I was sitting in the living room room I was talking to a girl when her friend came over and started play fighting with her over which of them got to sit beside me and once she had supplanted the first girls position continuously told me how adorable I was and wondered if I wanted to have a threesome with the two. Now it was a joke, but still.

The only problem was that pretty much every girl mentioned was plastered in a complete sort of way which is about the only time girls seem to find me attractive. So the moral is I need to drink less and get every girl on the planet to drink much much more because then I actually have a shot at getting somewhere with them.

Batman begins is a great movie, everybody should see it as it is actually the best Batman movie I've ever seen. That's right, better then 1989 Batman, all the crappy sequels and even better then the Batman movie based on the old T.V series that featured the one true Batman, Adam West. Everybody should go see it and love it like a bag full of puppies.

I Finally Figured Out What Instant Messengers Are For. It's For Communicating With People I'd Rather Not Talk To.
That quote is paraphrased a bit, but I think it's far more appropriate now. Interesting fact I learned the other day, of all fruit in the entire world watermelon is the overall best for you, I never would have guessed.

Firstly, going to see Batman Begins with Josh the gayly retardaqueer retard today(Thursday) at 6:40 in Park Lane. Anybody who wants to come should do so, and anybody who doesn't should stop being such a fucking sissy.

And on to other things

I have a lot of time to think in my life. Between a job that requires as much conscious thought as sleeping, a 40 minute walk to get to and from that job and generally having no real life whatsoever, I'm given more time to think about things then anybody but a coma victim. As a result I do a lot of thinking about pretty much any subject you could name. As I have tons of time everything is bound to come up. I think about politics, science, human nature, things I bitterly hate with a fiery passion that consumes my entire being (that one a lot) and even what I might say in a blog among other things.

A lot of times I just think up hypothetical stories of interest that could be the basis of books, movies or anything like that. Most of these stories are with me in the central spot and are based on people I know and people I just make up too.

One thing I've often considered in this regard would be what would happen if I went evil. I mean not my petty thug kind of evil now, butwhat if there was just one day when I completely lost it and went to a level of super villiany that would make movie and comic book villians look like big purple dinosaurs. Now obviusly I'd have to burn down my store, that's a given but I think I'd like to do it without actually killing anybody. In fact I think I'd like to go as long as possible without killing somebody, it would just be interesting. Not many villians would go out of their way to try not to kill people so that would show some innovation on my part, make me stand out. Maybe I'd maim, cripple or otherwise but even that I'd like to keep to a minimum, more just damage and destroy stuff, at least at the beginning.

One thing I know I'd probably do before

One specific scenerio I think would be really dramatic would be to take somebody who really cares about me, like say a best friend or something (ie Andy) and give them a gun and then hold somebody they care about hostage saying that the only way to stop me from killing them is to shoot me. Then after they do try and shoot me it turns out the gun wasn't loaded the entire time so I just laugh manicially and give them a few non fatal gunshots and leave him lying in a pool of his own blood. I think that would be really dramtic, as it would force somebody who cares about me to deside they need to kill me and the effort would turn out to be completely futile anyway just to further break them.

Another more comedic little event I think would be neat would be the lock the inevitable hero up in some sort of death trap that could be escaped but only with great difficulty. As they leave though I'd standing right outside the door and shoot them in each arm and leg, taunt them for being such a moron that they would think I'd leave them to die, then shoot them in the face. And I wouldn't have any lacky's with me at that point, I'm taking no chances that the hero might have seduced one.

One thing I've deffinatly considered is how I would best hurt the people I care most about in life, not physically but mentally and emotionally. Obviously as a super villian I can't have friends so I would need to end any friendships with a big memorable bang. This would probably happen before any real Super Villianous activites and would simply serve as a prelude to the real action showing my gradual decent into maddness and hatred. Well more so of those two. As a result of this though, I have spent a fair bit of time thinking about what I would say to people I know to wound them most and I've got to say I think I could do a really good job. We all know my everyday insults can be pretty good, but if I wanted to really hurt somebody I think I could make pretty much any girl I know cry and make any guy take a swing at me, or possibly both for both. So do me a favour and never ask me about what I might say to you when I'm really drunk because I have thought about it for most of my closer friends and many of my less close friends as well, and you will not like it.

I can think of other things I might do but that's enough for now. I think I'd make a pretty good villian really, I'm already rather evil as it stands so all I need to do is crush the last remaining voice of of conscience left in me and I could really go far in the world of super villany.

I did something the other night when I was drunk that I don't remember and is both kind of funny and embarressing, and no, I'm not saying what it was, so your curiousity can consume you for all I care.

Well that was a whole lot of that. The good part, I saw Andy. The bad part, I saw Alone in the Dark, and Super Mario Brothers...and Street Fighter. Yipes, just yipes.

Lady If I Was Doing Any Better I'd Have To Be Twins Just To Handle It.

So in celebration of Andy leaving the province, we're planning on trying to do something Thursday here, which of course all are welcome to attend. Though I'm not sure yet if Andy will be there, you can rest assured we'll be rooting for him to be around.

Anyway what we want to do is watch all the bad video game movies that have ever been made. Yes, that's right, Super Mario Brothers, Double Dragon, Wing Commander, Mortal Kombat 2: Annhilation, Alone in the Dark ect ect. They all suck worse then communism and we want to watch them all. So try and come down. You can drink, smoke, inject or snort because that's the only way you'll even have a chance of thinking these movies are anything but abominations that completely destroy the human races credibility worse then any atomic weapon ever could.






Fasten your seatbelts passangers we're entering some rantulence.

I need to do a resume soon. I know this beyond a shadow of a doubt because if I stay with my job much longer there will be incident that will rival Grand Theft Auto for shear violent mayhem. I hate my job, I hate it more then I hate Cleary.

And it has a terrible influence on me. Firstly, it makes me angrier then I should be, which is kind of like saying that a F5 tornado is doing more damage then it should be. There should be some sort of government agency with the the sole purpose of keeping my anger in check so anything that raises it should be surrounded by men in dark suits and black vans who answer to nobody. Unfortunatly this is not the case, so what I probably should do is avoid such things.

The other thing work does is make me less honest. Now I'll never say I was a perfect or completely honest person. In fact if perfection is on one end of the spectrum then you'll likely find me on the other end, probably drunk and doing something I'll barely remember let alone be able to feel bad about in the morning. Yet I was always more or less honest, not always, but I've always been a terrible liar. When I try to lie, I almost always give myself away so badly it would make the Bay of Pigs look like a a blitzcreig. But the more I work there, the less I care about lying to them because I've realized they really aren't worthy of any sort of honesty. And the the more that happens, the less I seem to care about lying to other people which actually really bugs me.

Then there are all the usual reasons to quit. Idiot customers, managers who don't even seem to regard you as a human being. Seriously, my store manager only ever talks to me when he wants something done, and does things like find all the things in the store that need to be returned to the shelves like 30 minutes before we're supposed to be off. In any case, there are lots of reasons to quit.

Oh and today, somebody tried to steal four 19L things of water. Why the hell steal water? It comes free in most of society. This size does come with a $10 return on the bottles, but why not just steal that much in food products? It would be smaller and easier to carry off. People are stupid.

Though the whole point of this is that I need to write a resume, and I suck at that. So if anybody wants to write it for me that's good at it I would be most appreaciative and would possibly quite possibly possibly give you a big hug and kiss. Conversely, anybody who is good at this and could write it for me should do so or else I will possibly quite possibly possibly give them a big hug and kiss.

I bought a PS2 the other day, along with GTA: San Andreas and Tenchu:Wrath of Heaven. Tenchu is a ninja game, which I bought for obvious reasons......I'm a ninja.....a legendary super nija.....ringing any bells?....oh you can all go to hell.

GTA though is an awesome game, and might I say I'm doing great at it. I'm on like the last mission faster then most people, my stats are all maxed or close to it. In fact there's only one that isn't, my sex appeal... just like in real life. Why do games want to taunt me as much as real life does? What have I done that was so bad? Why do I deserve this?


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Oh right, all the evil deeds.