213-DU WERDEST EINE KRANKENSCHWESTER BRAUCHEN

Total slaughter, total slaughter. I won't leave a single man alive. La dee da dee dide, genocide. La dee da dee dud, an ocean of blood. Let's begin the killing time.

Walking through the mall today I noticed that there was a conspicuous lack of swords at House of Knives and that made me very sad, I always loved the swords there.

I think I can make a guess at why they were gone and it was probably due to the fact that a while ago somebody took one of the swords and ran around the mall like a madman with it, eventually being tazered by the cops.

There are a few problems with the logic of removing the swords. The first being that most of the swords didn't even have an edge on them so anybody using them to attack would have to go for bludgeoning, and there are plenty of other things in the mall you could use for that. Bat, hockey sticks, golf clubs and brooms to name a few off the top of my head.

The other problem is that it was stolen from the HOUSE OF KNIVES, removing the swords isn't exactly eliminating the threat. There are dozens of knives there that would be sharper then any of the swords, including some that are actually the sort of thing the military might use. They'd be a hell of a lot sharper then the swordclubs that some people might consider more dangerous.

Plus it's one incident, and instead of noting all the times that some crazy person didn't grab a sword and run around the mall they just saw one person do it once and assume that this was what representative of %50 of the population.

Though speaking of the incident, man I would have loved to have been there. I'm pretty good with a sword and this situation is about the only time in everyday life those skills might have come in handy. It's like the one time you actually use calculus.

Sigh,I miss out on everything.

This is a... fuck!

The only thing people seem to be capable of doing lately is irritating me. That's it. I don't look forward to seeing anybody or doing anything with anybody and the only time I've ever not about to throw something is when I'm by myself.

There has got to be a job out there where I can work completely on my own without ever having to deal with another person, or at the very worst maybe like one person every week or so. Maybe a research station in the South Arctic or and underwater salvager or something, anything. Or taking out a large life insurance policy and then suffering a crippling accident, then not only would I not really have to see anybody but I wouldn't really have to do anything either.

I think I feel kind of like the guy from Office Space where I just want to sit on my ass all day. That's essentially what I've been doing for months now and it really is pretty great. The only problem is the lack of money but the accident thing would take care of that.

Agh, I don't know, I just don't fucking know. And what don't I know? I don't even know!

Don't try to confuse me with the facts.

As is my usual Valentines day, tonight I'm going to get hammered to the extreme. But this time it's going to be at a wedding and also at afterwards when a bunch of people, including the bride and groom, go out to the Dome. What a great way to spend your wedding night, getting hammered on dollar drink night.

Who are you, and why should I care?

Someday, I really hope somebody can be brought before me in chains. Preferably when I'm on a large throne.

That first time was just case the bank and rob it a little.

Don't you hate it when you write down a very common word and it just doesn't look right? And you have to go look it up, fuck I feel retarded when that happens.

Your best is an idiot!

So I think I should really just try and be done with women.

Not that there's anything wrong with them, or that the alternative is any less the revolting, but seriously from a logical perspective.

Obviously I have no skill with them. I've been told numerous times I'm not hideous to the eyes and have a somewhat acceptable personality at times. So while there might be some girls who were just bitches to me and led me on and what not, for the most part I have nobody to blame but myself for my lack of success in that field.

And we're not talking a regular lack of success, we're talking about a 5 year running, no account loser sort of lack of success with them. 5 friggin years and I can't find a woman who can tolerate me, or can possibly see me as more then a "friend".

So it's really in not only my best interests to accept this, but also in the interest of the entire gender. If I can really and truly just give up then no woman will have to tolerate my haphazard attempts to pick them up. Or worse, the drunken haphazard attempts that are best left in the annals of time.

And quite honestly it would be better for me. Then I could use my brain for more then thinking about sex. And harassing that kind of power might be enough to cure cancer, aids, fossil fuel and overpopulation problems in one fell swoop.

Now while the chances of this are pretty much nil, I'll have to try because the alternative is an entire life of trying and failing to get a single female to accept me. And that seems about as appealing as stapling my eyelids to train tracks. If not slightly less so.

Oh, and I get to go to my first Bachelor party on Saturday. Should be fun. I don't think there are strippers or hookers, but that's probably for the best. Testing my resolve in such a way would be cruel and unusual, and just the sort of thing God would try if they existed!

I stand by my racial slur.

Talking to an old friend of mine, I realized something. Everybody is stupid, without a doubt.

He has made it to middle management and was telling me about how he has to deal with stupid employees and bosses now, the best of both worlds. But it occurs to me that if I worked there, I'm sure I'd think he was an idiot and I'm sure he'd think I'm an idiot. It's one of those universal constants.

And really the only way around it is to have a time of society that worships their leaders. Like Europe during the dark/middle ages when kings were said to have been appointed by gods. So no matter how badly they screwed up, it was okay because it was gods will that it happened. I think that CEO's of today's companies would be trying to implement that actually.

Bill Gates "Good news everybody, there will be a mandatory pay cut for everybody but me."

Thralls " All Hail Gates!"