213-DU WERDEST EINE KRANKENSCHWESTER BRAUCHEN

There is no "I" in Team America.

The worlds biggested oil platform is currently parked out in my harbour. It's pretty big. It's being moved to Ireland by the worlds biggest class of ship.

There's an accident I would love to see, once it's safely out to sea that it.

As usual, your detective skills are impeccable, Samson. You have succeeded in exposing my sinister plan to lock myself in a dungeon, chained to an albino.

Wines can have very odd names, or so I have noticed.

Emu - Nothing makes me want to drink more than a largeflightless bird

Drysack - Wine of choice for itchy men everywhere.

XOXO - It's Canadian, so unless you want to kiss the floor and hug the toilet, you might want to try something else.

Naked grape - And so we shall see the mighty grape finally stripped of all impertinence.

Painted Turtle - Is that even legal, they're an endagered speciecs for gods sake.

The Bend in the River - Sounds like where treasure might be buried.

Black Tower - Isn't this a Stephen King series? Is that what you want people thinking about when they ingest your wine?

4 Emu's - When one just can't cut it.

Toasted Head - Not so much the name as the picture of a firebreathing bear on it. Are bears really so timid that they need to breath fire to have an edge?

Fish Hoek - Nothing like a picture of a skeletel fish to make me want to consume something.

Cat's Pee on a Gooseberry Bush - By far the weirdest. Nothing about this name give me any desire to try it. In fact it has the exact opposite effect. Who comes up with this stuff anyway?

If I'm a child that means you're a pedophile, and I'll be damned if i'm going stand here and take this from a pervert.

I was just reading some old posts of mine and man can I be hilariously bitter when I'm not drunk and pathetic.

No I'm... Isn't

Life is unfair, we all know this. It's more unfair for some then others for sure. Life is pretty good to me but still, I must bitch so that others don't have to.

Specifically right now I need to bitch about an information session at the Mount about B Ed's. It had nothing that I could have learned online, but that wasn't the real problem. Based on their criteria I have almost no chance of making it in, fair enough. I didn't try very hard in school so I should suffer. But based on the questions everybody else was asking, I know I am more qualified to teach then any of them.

Questions that were answered previously.

Questions that had no relevance to the topic.

Questions that were generally stupid.

Really if you can't manage to attend a simple session about the degree properly, can you do the degree properly? Oh yeah and the guy presenting it spoke in a boring, hard to hear way exactly like no teacher should.

Now I might not be a perfect student. I might be a Quasar away from that status. I might have wrote such terrible essay's that prompted Kathryn to write an emphatic "NO!" on them as she made a vain attempt to correct my numerous and disheartening mistakes, but I think I could teach fairly well given the chance. Better then many teachers I've had at least.

So how can I make it in? My marks are okay at best, I don't think I could find a single Uni prof who remembered me to write a reference, and I don't have every course you need to get accepted. About the only thing I have is many volunteer hours and a spunky attitude. Or assholish, however you want to look at it.

But I could teach well. I know it, I care enough to do it and caring is really what it takes to make me good. And kids like me too, not sure why but they tend to. That can't hurt.


And the bad thing is that if I can't manage to make this happen, once again I have no idea what to do with myself. I really don't. I mean, what the hell can I do as a proffession that I actually want to do? Arg, so much not goodness.


Oh well, I can still die young and be a tragedy or something.

Space. It seems to go on and on forever. But then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you.

While driving today I was listening to Q 104 and the question they asked yesterday was about Global Warming and if people think that's why it's hot this year. Here was one guys response.


"I don't care if it is Global Warming, as long as I can play golf in Jan and Feb I'm happy."

Now if this guy is being sarcastic (I don't think he was) that's one thing but as it stood it brought to mind one thing. You should have to have a license to breed, because I don't want that kind of stupidity to continue through the ages. Honestly, if they could remove a persons reproductive capability at birth and require some sort of written test to get them back. It doesn't have to be a hard test, just something that says they can contribute to the next generation. I know not everybody can be a genius, but we can at least get rid of that willful stupidity.

"Everyone's always in favour of saving Hitler's brain. But when you put it in the body of a great white shark, ooohh! Suddenly you've gone too far!"

When I die, I don't want anybody doing the bullshit thing of saying only nice things about me because I'm dead. The fact that I'm dead doesn't change who I was. If I was a terrible person then people should be saying that, and possibly pissing on the grave in drunken happiness.

(Oh yeah, everybody has to be drunk when I die)

If you thought I'm the kind of person who should have died sooner, then say so. If you think I was more pleasant then a kitten, well then you're retarded.

And whoever gives the eulogy better do the same. And make it funny, and also be drunk, which personally I think would be hilerious at a funeral.