213-DU WERDEST EINE KRANKENSCHWESTER BRAUCHEN

To Die Is To Know That You're Alive

I'm now convinced that the Barrington Street Superstore, my place of work, was created solely for the purpose of being one gigantic, aggravating taunt aimed at me.

You've all heard me bitch about how all the girls there have boyfriends. Well not only that, but I always seem to find out that any girls I'm interested in and trying to make subtle moves towards securing a date with are in the process of getting a boyfriend.

That's one of my main beefs, another is that everybody I work with is either a)lazy or b) a moron. My job is so mindnumbingly easy that I'm usually not even paying attention to what I'm doing and still getting all my work done, yet everybody else seems incapable of doing so.

And the customers, god the friggin customers. Anybody who's ever worked with the public must be aware by now that most people are apathetic idiots who seem to thrive on making jobs more difficult then they have to be. Our customers seem to have the innate ability to do exactly the thing I don't want them to, even when several other options were open to them. Sometimes people have actually gone out of their way to make me go out of my way.

But enough ranting and raving... actually what am I saying, I'm pretty much all ranting and raving.

My managers also seem to be determined to make the job harder then it ever should be. Especially my store manager. He has made the front end where I put the carts a veritable obstacle course for me trying to get the damn carts around. It's not easy to nagigate when you're trying to push 10+ carts into a small area while there are customers constantly throwing themselves in your way and displays that collapse with a feather touch.

Many a time have I come into work in a great mood only to have it systematically sucked out of me by all the various irritating parts of the job. Usually by the end I'm muttering threats under my breath at all the people I encounter who make my working life a living hell. My personal favorite threat to utter is "I hope something terrible happens to you". I just like it, it's nice and general, open to interpretation.

Pure Josh


"Call it the morning after pill, no wait that's pushing her down the stairs."

This would have made Troy pretty cool too.

Posted by: Curtis / 3:44 PM

God Damn Elves Got My Rupies Again

Seems like a while since I've been on here, yet it's only been four days. I guess time flies when you're not doing much of anything.

Well I shouldn't say that, I've actually done a few things, like going on Saturday, where I spent 80 dollars, not just on myself. Something like $32 on drinks for other people, and $10 for cover and the total amount I drank shrinks dramtically. I think I was the more sober person I was with actually.

Sunday though, Sunday was an epic.

After Ben, Josh and I found out it is entirely impossible to buy beer in this city at 6:00 PM in the evening we were forced to seek out alternatives. Specifically Josh and I went down to the casino, which has by far the cheepest drinks on a Sunday night.

While Josh played Blackjack I would maintain a constant vigil for drink ladies, in case you didn't know, drinks are cheeper when you're gambling. So he tried to break even while we waited for drinks, when they got there we would usually move on and try our luck somewhere else. I desided to join in with the gambling for a little while, and my timing couldn't have been worse. I happened to join at the dealer who raped every single person on the table. I lost $20 in 5 minutes, Josh $40 in the same time. Alright enough gambling.

To the Baritorium, where draft is always cheep. A couple glasses later we started asking "Where's Ben?" and "Why Isn't Ben Here". He was supposed to meet us you see.

So Josh and I became the official founders of the "I Hate Ben Club".

Eventually he called, blamed other who were supposed to meet him sooner, and told us to go to Maxwell's. Alright, fair enough.

Maxwell's, Josh and I chug a picture in about five minutes, the three other people with us "Ben, his cousin and Amanda) share one as well and then we're off to the Dome.

At the Dome, Josh and I continued our efforts to drink our brain cells away, I'd tell you much I had but I really can't remember. 5 doubles might not be unreasonable, if anything it might be low. Aggh

Ran into a few people, Josh, Shawn, Tony Verde, though around this time my memory is starting to get fuzzy. Eventually both Josh and I were kicked out, at seperate times. I walked home, met a coworker walked home with her and her friends. Don't remember much of that, hope I didn't say or do anything.

Got home at an undetermined time, crashed, woke up at 11:00AM for work, still hammered. Sobered up at around 3:00PM. Felt like I was going to die for most of the day. Not a bad night, though I don't feel like drinking that much again for quite some time. Which is good, my wallet can't afford it.

Oh yeah, final tally.... $100 I think, $20 gambling, $20 for other people, $60 for Curtis.

Uguuguuguuguguguuguguguuguguguguuguguugugu

See You, Space Cowboy

So Andy has a blog now, you can reach it from here. I'm vaguely worried as he will undoubtedly be more entertaining then I try to be. So there's only one choice... it's time to Kill Bill(Andy).

Watching some Bwuce Wee movies tonight with Josh and Andy, man he's awesome. If I looked like that I'd probably go around without a shirt all the time too. And the fact that he can do spin kicks faster then anybody else can do regular ones make him more ninjariffic then any others.

And now we're watching a movie called Hellsing, so far it looks like a more extreme version on Van Helsing then Hugh Jackman could ever manage.

Got to go so I can see the movie, no time to be funny or clever.

For those keeping track, I'm drunk again.

From Now On I Shall Be Known As "Handsome. B. Wonderful"

So here I am, at Ben's, running my mouth, having drank my drink drunk into oblivion or something.

Tonight, went to the Marquee with Ben and Amanda, and her irritating boyfriend. And though Amanda was allupons Ben her boyfriend refused to accept that for some reason. Silly person. It was actually so bad that I was trying to think how I could take him, then all his friends out in the shortest amount of time. Though I suppose me thinking about how I'm going to take people out is nothing new. I would probably use move number 1) Armbar and then move number 2) REVERSE Armbar

But on the plus side, I did get to drink, and in the end, isn't that what really matters? The answer... is no.

More people should have been out though, lots more. That always makes it more fun. Especially the lady types that I can actually dance with. Though I was getting a lot of looks tonight, at least that's what I hoped. Really what expect is that it was more like looks in my general direction with a purposeful nonfocus on me, but damn it I can still hope! Don't try and take that away from me, without it all I have is my vaunted lovemaking skills (That's right ladies I'm talking to you ;) )

In any case, on the way home from The Domee Ben stole a non electrical powered vaccum from "The Apple Barrel" which I turned into a beating stick that he will keep underneath his pillow to strike what's his face the moroncunt. Working as a team always is best.

Kathryn, you suck at drunken typing, but I still love you. Hope you had a goodly more awesomer time on your trip. And may the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

Curtis

The Grave Is No Bar To My Call

Chris, Tony. You have done much to make life better. You have drank more then any two person deserves to have and live. You have made life more fun and interesting then it should be. For this... I salute you!

I'm gonna miss you guys, I hope you have a great time in all the places you go. And don't cause more problems then you can get out of. If you do, I'm always here to vouch for you and say "No officer, he's never been one for starting fires"

So see you in a year, and if you don't saty in touch then your lives are forfet... forfat...that word of sorts... Alright I'm drunk.

So Cabin Fever, not as bad as if I had thought. And it's got Shaun from "Boy Meet's World" And his name is "Rider Strong". As Ben says that's the worlds best porn name. Seriously, I wish I could rider her strong, though there would have to be a her first. And a ability to ride strong....what? No, there's nothing I said that makes me seem less awesome. These are not the droids you're looking for.

So we're watching Jason X now, notable for the fact that Ian Campell's cousin is in it, and said it's the worst movie he's been in.

I love you guys.

Curtis

And Henceforth, 2:17 PM Will Now Offically Be Vader Time

Bought another book on Ninjitsu the other day, wanted to buy the Sais but alas they cost too much for now, maybe someday. The book is quite interesting though, among other things I learned that Ninja's were actually using physics and biology back before the fields existed. I really want to get the rest of the books in the series, especially since it has become concieveable possible that I will be able to take Ninjitsu in the future. Man I'd love to be able to call myself a ninja and actually mean it.

Ben Is Gay

My Superstore was mentioned in the coast the other day as best grocery store, or something like that, in the city. Somebody was also quoted in it who said there are lots of hot cashiers and it's a great pick up spot. Fool, doesn't that person know they all have boyfriends? Unless of course they're just telling me that they have boyfriends so that I won't attempt to hit on them or ask them out. Clever vixens, I should have realized that before.

The other night I was out with a bunch of people from work, we went to kerioke night at the Oasis. I was late due to the fact that I worked the late shift, so I missed all of them singing, but on the plus side they all got to see me kerioke the System of a Down song "Chop Suey". Man was I great, well they said I was great. Though that might have been just to save my fragile ego but I think I'll just take them at their word. Somebody had already sung "Bohemian Rhapsody" before I got there so I didn't really plan on doing anything, but I saw System and really couldn't say no. Ahh liquid courage, where would I be without you?

Abortions For All

So, my final tally for Sunday was 27. Not too bad if I do say so myself. I started earlier then everbody else, but still, I could have actually had more if everybody else hadn't been done. So at least there's one thing I can do well. Drink my face off